Terms of Service

Welcome to Afterlife Acres. These Terms of Service ("Terms") govern your access to and use of afterlifeacres.com (the "Site") and any products purchased through it. By placing an order or otherwise using the Site, you agree to these Terms. If you do not agree, please do not use the Site or make a purchase.

1. What We Sell

Afterlife Acres sells novelty digital certificates ("Certificates") styled as deeds to fictional plots of land in "Heaven," "Hell," and any other realms we may introduce. Certificates are sold and intended strictly for entertainment and gifting purposes.

Nothing purchased from Afterlife Acres constitutes, represents, or confers any real, legal, or equitable interest in any actual real property, celestial or otherwise. We do not own, broker, or have any claim to real estate in the afterlife, and neither do you as a result of your purchase. Any resemblance to real legal instruments (deeds, titles, certificates of ownership) is purely stylistic and for amusement only.

2. Digital Delivery

Certificates are delivered exclusively as digital PDF files sent to the email address provided at checkout. Delivery is typically near-instant and, in all cases, is not guaranteed to exceed a reasonable processing window following successful payment. It is your responsibility to provide an accurate email address and to check your spam or promotions folder if a Certificate does not appear in your inbox.

No physical goods are shipped. Afterlife Acres does not ship land, deeds, or any physical item of any kind.

3. Pricing and Payment

All prices are listed in U.S. Dollars (USD) unless otherwise stated. Payments are processed by our third-party payment processor, Gumroad, and are subject to Gumroad's own terms and applicable transaction fees. We do not directly store or process your payment card details.

4. Refund Policy

Because our Certificates are digital products delivered instantly upon purchase, all sales are final once a Certificate has been generated and delivered, except as described below.

We stand behind our 90-Day Eternal Promise: if you are unsatisfied with your purchase for any reason, contact us within 90 days of your order date and we will work with you in good faith toward a resolution, which may include a replacement, correction, or refund at our discretion. This promise does not obligate us to issue a refund in every case, particularly where a Certificate has already been downloaded, printed, or shared, but we aim to make things right for genuinely dissatisfied customers.

5. Intended Use

Certificates are intended for personal use and gifting. You may not resell, sublicense, or represent Afterlife Acres Certificates as legitimate legal, financial, or property instruments to any third party. Doing so may expose you to liability under consumer protection or fraud laws, for which Afterlife Acres bears no responsibility.

6. No Warranty

The Site and all Certificates are provided "as is" and "as available," without warranties of any kind, express or implied. We do not warrant that the Site will be uninterrupted, error-free, or free of viruses or other harmful components.

7. Limitation of Liability

To the fullest extent permitted by law, Afterlife Acres and its owners, employees, and affiliates shall not be liable for any indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages arising from your use of the Site or any Certificate, including but not limited to loss of amusement value, disputes with gift recipients, or existential contemplation prompted by your purchase. Our total liability for any claim arising from your purchase shall not exceed the amount you paid for the applicable Certificate.

8. Intellectual Property

All content on the Site, including designs, text, graphics, and the Certificate templates themselves, is the property of Afterlife Acres and is protected by applicable intellectual property laws. You may print and share your own personal Certificate for non-commercial purposes, but may not reproduce, modify, or redistribute our designs or templates for commercial use.

9. Governing Law

These Terms are governed by the laws of [Insert Governing Jurisdiction], without regard to conflict of law principles. Any disputes arising from these Terms or your use of the Site shall be resolved in the courts of that jurisdiction.

10. Changes to These Terms

We may update these Terms from time to time. Changes will be posted on this page with an updated "Last updated" date. Continued use of the Site after changes are posted constitutes acceptance of the revised Terms.

11. Contact Us

Questions about these Terms, or need help with an order? Reach out to us at support@afterlifeacres.com.